The Cavemen – ‘The Cavemen’ (Dirty Water Records) Print E-mail
CD Reviews
Written by Dom Daley   
Friday, 02 February 2018 04:00

The Cavemen artworkThere are many here who missed these bad boys first time around and having their debut album re-released is a chance many have to play catch up on a whirlwind of guitar thrashing and violent drumming married together with some crazy assed lyrics that your nan won't be too happy hearing.  But, it's not a reissue of the cash grab variety, as this one has a couple of bonus tracks thrown in for good measure.  Now, put down your warm beer and drop the needle (no, not into your arm), turn up the volume and let's go!


Its a rampage with a bunch of delinquents using cheap instruments but a healthy collection of Cramps, Motörhead, Stooges and God knows what else they were weaned on as kids thrown into the mix. 


'Mentally Ill' sets the tone and the record thrashes around. 'Fuck For Hate' is a lyrical masterpiece, but the real magic is towards the amazing midpoint of 'Rides With The Reich', with some crazy lyrics and a melody that still kills me every time I hear it.


'Rock N Roll Retard' is their excuse for turning out like they have, but, rather than seeking redemption, they revel in it and wave the middle finger as this punk rock blast; the midway hat-trick is completed by 'At The Pub'.  Fucking dynamite! Plain and simple. It’s Ramones down under that's even more fucked up and chaotic (how did London let them take up residency again?).  'Fucked In The Head' does exactly what it says on the tin - insanity reigns supreme.  But this record is relentless in its delivery and quality punk rock ‘n’ roll.  You do wonder sometimes how such juvenile delinquents manage to pick up instruments and put together a record, let alone manage to stay alive long enough to record it; but, hey, don't worry about it: just be grateful they did.


Juvenile lyrics aplenty - and 'Drink Drivin' probably wears that particular crown with pride - no doubt; but 'School Sucks' would have the PMRC shitting bullets… luckily, nobody alerted Tipper to these bad boys, because this record would have seen a total ban of rock ‘n’ roll on health grounds, and it would have been classed as more dangerous than any venomous snake or nuclear plant leakage.


The running time for this piece of magic is less than 30 minutes, and, where GG failed, the likes of The Cavemen had the tunes - and the lyrics. What’s more rock ‘’n roll than some cadaver love ('Stand By Your Ghoul'), with its hypnotic organ whirl, or 'Fuck For Hate'?  Oh, ok, so it is 2018, but shock rock and down and dirty punk rock never followed fashion - nor did it ever go out of fashion for that matter.  Crazy mofos are back on wax and its blood red this time. 


I don't know what they put in the water down in New Zealand, but these certified loons have had too much.  To still be out there seems like they've struck a deal with Beelzebub in exchange for living long: they had to trade lyrics and melodies with him – which, in hindsight, was a good trade.  The Cavemen is out now so just pick up your copy and lose your mind for 30 minutes – but, be careful kids: this shit might just send you into a spiral of insanity, heavy drinking, drug taking and mayhem. Not that they (or we) would advocate any of that, but I can't find the disclaimer sticker warning of what this record contains in these here grooves.  


As the rest of the world seems hellbent on a race to the bottom, The Cavemen are something of a comfort blanket covered in filth and used in some dirty (water) protest.   Fifteen songs in 24 minutes - fucking brilliant! Bosh! have it, you bloody noisy delinquents.


‘The Cavemen’ is out now. You can get your copy HERE.


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