|Lesbian Bed Death - 'Designed By The Devil, Powered By The Dead' (Psychophonic Records)|
|Written by Gaz E|
|Friday, 10 September 2010 05:30|
After finally stopping laughing at the awful band name that greeted me when I took my first look at the cover of 'Designed By The Devil, Powered By The Dead', I got a little excited.
Namechecking Misfits, The 69 Eyes, Turbonegro and Type O Negative on the press release and with the cover art seeming to fuse a Christian Death/Hellraiser vibe, I put the disc into my quivering stereo with the thoughts of some quality death rock pumping out filling my fevered mind. Boy, was I disappointed.
Lesbian Bed Death (stop sniggering at the back) might dream of being some dark, deathly stab of a band but in reality they peddle an inoffensive type of melodic hard rock that is more akin to something by Halestorm than it is the bands they claim to be 'for fans of'. Hell, if a bunch of Turbonegro fans turned up to see Lesbian Bed Death (seriously, I can't stop saying it!) I'm guessing that there would be more violent incidents by men in sailor hats than in a Popeye boxset.
The album is well produced and the musicianship is pretty much faultless, the problem with Lesbian Bed Death (must...stop...) is vocalist Luci4 (geddit?!). Sure, she has a great set of pipes but they shouldn't have come within a hell's acre of a band trying to death rock out with their cockroaches out. She has a generic female vocal style that makes fans of edgy rock music hate female vocalists - harsh but true. When she swears it sounds like a blooper from To The Manor Born. When she sings "Nosferatu" it sounds like an ageing aunt reading through your teenage horror collection and I can't help but laugh out loud.
The subject matter and the horror-themed lyrics are why Lesbian Bed Death (an actual term centred on the theory that lesbians have less sex than any other type of couple - still an awful name though, isn't it?!) group themselves in with those aforementioned bands, but it just seems as if they couldn't find a singer so just settled for someone who could sing rather than who fitted their band. The band are now at a crossroads and they don't have Ralph Macchio to help them find their way; they either have to drop the horror and start writing lyrics about ex-boyfriends or they have to drop the singer and find someone with a deathly grip on the theme of their choice. The former seems the best option as songs like 'Without A Sound' could really take off if promoted properly but, as an alucard carrying horror nerd myself, I hope for the latter.